My limericks

I gave this version to proofread to people that have English as a first language. They will corrected the grammar mistakes and the lines that are not making sense but I will not change them too much. I want them to sound like me.

Here is what I produced:

 

  1. There once was a boy called Brian,

Who’s dream was to see a live lion.

When they finally met,

Boy did treat him as pet.

A mistake that cost a life of little Brian.

 

  1. There once was a girl that lived in a tree,

When asked “why?” she said “I like to feel free”.

Birds did not like her

Tried to get rid of her

Nothing worked so they did turn her into a tree

 

  1. There once was a Percival, and he was a pig.

Unlike the other pigs he enjoyed a good jig.

An old farmer did frown,

And knocked poor pig down.

Now pig with no jig, only ground it would dig.

 

  1. There once was a girl named Louise

With the beautiful hair down to her knees.

Once on a windy day

Her beauty crown flew away

The birds used it to build their nests in the trees.

 

  1. There once was a girl and her name was Meg,

Her favorite pass time was to hop on one leg.

In a trap she did fall,

Her eyes started to bawl.

Now instead of a leg she has a wooden peg.

 

  1. There once was a man that people called Dave.

He stepped on snake while exploring the cave.

Not liking creatures as such

He freaked out so much

Soiling his pants admitted, he was not very brave.

 

  1. There once was a young princes named Rose

Whose family genes gave her big nose

She impressed the palace

When she learnt to balance

peas on a fork and that fork on her nose.

 

  1. There once was a boy named Zed

He had the silliest ideas inside his head

He once caught a mouse

That he let loose in a house

That made his mother to see red.

 

  1. There once was a lady called Clare

With the biggest grin she went to ride a bear

She shouted I am a star

I am the bravest by far

“Shame, I’ve already had my lunch” thought bear.

 

  1. An admirer sent the flowers to lady of Brit.

She screamed when she did try to smell it

got stung on the nose

by the bee that did doze

of in there and wasn’t impressed by it.

 

  1. I knew a squirrel, she was friend of my rats.

She loved the biscuits more then the nuts.

Until she made a scene,

shouted “I am a queen”,

I did not have a clue that she was nuts.

 

  1. There once was a boy the lived in Dubai

Jumping from high places thought he can fly

He jumped from the roof once

right on dad’s Mercedes Benz

That was the first time he saw his dad cry.

 

  1. I once knew a rabbit called Steven

Whose teeth were sparkly and even.

Until they got kicked in

By a donkey with a grin

And now he is on liquid diet, poor Steven.

 

  1. There once was a man that lived on the coast.

He held a record for eating a french toast

In his throat it did poke,

The man started to choke,

Man lost the title, forever more unable to boast.

 

  1. There once was a man with a crucial decision,

whether or not to have a circumcision.

He decided to commit,

So whipped out his tool kit

Unfortunately he made too big an incision.

 

  1. One day on the beach with my friend Mark

We were messing around and having a lark

He jumped in the sea

With a smile full of glee

He obviously hadn’t seen the great white shark

 

  1. There once was a small worm,

that owned his own financial firm,

his books he did swindle,

his employment started to dwindle,

and now he is serving a 10 year prison term.

 

  1. There was once a guy called Paul

Who thought that he was really cool

Until his legs got in a muddle

And he fell in a big puddle

Now everyone calls him a fool

 

  1. I once had a pet dog called Rick

His favourite game is to chase a stick

One day I threw it on a frozen lake

I looked on as the ice started to break

Thank god that my dog was quick.

 

  1. One day on the beach with my friend Mark

We were messing around and having a lark

He jumped in the sea

With a smile full of glee

He obviously hadn’t seen the great white shark

 

  1. There once was a girl that lived in a tree,

When asked “why?” she said “I like to feel free”.

Birds did not like her

Tried to get rid of her

Proof of this is the big bruise on her knee.

 

  1. The young redheaded girl people called Jane

Was forever scared to be caught in a rain

Because she died he hair

Even tiny cloud gave her a scare

For Closeted ginger she was very vein

 

  1. “there once was a rooster named bob
  2. one day he ate a corn on a cob

He was easily seen,

when his face turned green

And all what’s left now its it’s a blob.

 

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